Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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