a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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