Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
