Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
