hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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