Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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