Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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