my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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