8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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