I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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