What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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