I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
