I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
