i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
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No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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