now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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