Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
