Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
