I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
