I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I need moral support for this bender
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
