I just cut my nipple shaving
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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