i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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