I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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