i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
