That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
