I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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