So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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