I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
