Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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