I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
