i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
What a dumb baby whore.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
