i need an iv and a liver transplant
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
