Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
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