is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
