He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
