Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
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I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
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No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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