I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
