I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
