Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
