weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
