we're blogging at a bar
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So squirting runs in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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