i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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