You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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