high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
