this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You pole danced in your parka.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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