3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Help. Why am I so naked?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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