I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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