It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
