In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
