I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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