Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
