well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
