Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
