wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
