he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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