"it" just moved
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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