what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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