my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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