In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Is it because I queefed?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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