just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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