I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
