i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
