maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
